• Anaconda Story with Jungle Jim Thursday, March 01, 2007 - 7:59 pm [1]

The following is from the US Government Peace Corps Manual for its volunteers who work in the Amazon Jungle. It tells what to do in case you are attacked by an anaconda.



The following is from the US Government Peace Corps Manual for its volunteers who work in the Amazon Jungle. It tells what to do in case you are attacked by an anaconda.

This Week's Joke

The following is from the US Government Peace Corps Manual for its volunteers who work in the Amazon Jungle. It tells what to do in case you are attacked by an anaconda. This is what the manual said:

1. If you are attacked by an anaconda, do not run. The snake is faster than you are.

2. Lie flat on the ground. Put your arms tight against your sides, your legs tight against one another

3. Tuck your chin in.

4. The snake will come and begin to nudge and climb over your body.

5. Do not panic

6. After the snake has examined you, it will begin to swallow you from the feet and - always from the end. Permit the snake to swallow your feet and ankles. Do not panic

7. The snake will now begin to suck your legs into its body. You must lie perfectly still. This will take a long time.

8. When the snake has reached your knees slowly and with as little movement as possible, reach down, take your knife and very gently slide it into the side of the snake's mouth between the edge of its mouth and your leg, then suddenly rip upwards, severing the snake's head.

9. Be sure you have your knife.

10. Be sure your knife is sharp.

This Month's Issue: August 2004 Teresa Heinz Kerry celebrates the Peace Corps Volunteer as one of the best faces America has ever projected in a speech to the Democratic Convention. The National Review disagreed and said that Heinz's celebration of the PCV was "truly offensive." What's your opinion and who can come up with the funniest caption for our Current Events Funny? Exclusive: Director Vasquez speaks out in an op-ed published exclusively on the web by Peace Corps Online saying the Dayton Daily News' portrayal of Peace Corps "doesn't jibe with facts." In other news, the NPCA makes the case for improving governance and explains the challenges facing the organization, RPCV Bob Shaconis says Peace Corps has been a "sacred cow", RPCV Shaun McNally picks up support for his Aug 10 primary and has a plan to win in Connecticut, and the movie "Open Water" based on the negligent deaths of two RPCVs in Australia opens August 6. Op-ed's by RPCVs: Cops of the World is not a good goal and Peace Corps must emphasize community development.

By liz Rodriguez (66.143.243.240) on Friday, March 23, 2007 - 12:03 pm: Edit Post

how can a damn snake be faster than you thats just makebelieve waht if u dont have a kinife because u dont plan on getting chased by a snake

By Anonymous (74-136-21-178.dhcp.insightbb.com - 74.136.21.178) on Wednesday, May 16, 2007 - 6:35 pm: Edit Post

You just run as fast as you can and prey that god haves murcey on you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By Anonymous (82.110.149.168) on Tuesday, June 26, 2007 - 6:22 am: Edit Post

this is a ghetto site

By Anonymous (c-69-138-198-127.hsd1.md.comcast.net - 69.138.198.127) on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 12:01 am: Edit Post

this is soo bad.. if you really want to help people, do more research...

1. Constricters dont eat live prey and dont usually scavenge (all snakes can see heat) so they would know if your alive, or have died recently. If it thinks your still alive it would wrap its body around you and tighten everytime you exhale, then would only loosen after your body goes cold, meaning you died. If it thought you have already died, it wouldnt even bother with you.

2. anacondas cant keep pace with a human, they are ambush predators, you can easily outrun one, but if it drops out of a tree on ya, good luck.

3. snakes done swallow feet first, they go head first cuz it keeps your arms and legs straight.

4. Dont panic? constricters have 2 rows of teeth, both are broken in the middle because their jaw separates in the center. They use their jaw to walk their prey into their mouth ((if it was swallowing you, your going to be bit repeatedly as the teeth grip and pull you in))

5. if the snake made it to your knees, you have no hope since they swallow head first!! but by what you said, you dont need to move slowly cuz at that point the snake is as vulnerable as its gonna be, just take the knife and stab its head

this is such a bad guide.. if anyone was to really take this advice, they would die..lie flat on the ground. Put your arms tight against your sides, your legs tight against one another that would just make it a quicker death for ya.

By Marina H. (adsl-75-45-222-137.dsl.sfldmi.sbcglobal.net - 75.45.222.137) on Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 6:05 pm: Edit Post

Mi god...I thought that was real before I saw it said "This Week's Joke:
- and I know all about the teeth and swallowing positions and everything, but still!!

By LULU (cache-los-aa07.proxy.aol.com - 195.93.21.7) on Thursday, September 27, 2007 - 12:29 pm: Edit Post

OMG, HOW SAD OF YOU TO PUT THT UP!!!
I'M SCARED OF GRASS SNAKES LET ALONE ANACONDA'S!!!1

By Anonymous (5ac3ef10.bb.sky.com - 90.195.239.16) on Friday, January 04, 2008 - 12:21 pm: Edit Post

umm hu eva wrote>> this is soo bad.. if you really want to help people, do more research...

1. Constricters dont eat live prey and dont usually scavenge (all snakes can see heat) so they would know if your alive, or have died recently. If it thinks your still alive it would wrap its body around you and tighten..... yes its tru but by the way its a joke so dont act so smart next time..

By AnOnYmOuS (adsl-75-7-37-241.dsl.pltn13.sbcglobal.net - 75.7.37.241) on Tuesday, January 22, 2008 - 7:29 pm: Edit Post

This was published once in a MAD magazine and even after that it had said to take this information with a grain of salt and the reasons previously posted.

By Anonymous (75-174-69-145.bois.qwest.net - 75.174.69.145) on Friday, February 22, 2008 - 7:13 pm: Edit Post

That would definitely be on my "most horrible ways to die" list. I mean think about it, if you were still alive, and this huge thing is just slowly engulfing you inch by inch, you could feel its tongue and teeth and it's organs, and it would just be so horrible! I would not be able to take this advice, even though it is a joke. It will be sad when someone actually used this advice and gets swallowed whole.

By Anonymous (c-76-114-8-7.hsd1.ca.comcast.net - 76.114.8.7) on Thursday, April 03, 2008 - 8:29 pm: Edit Post

the joke is convincing to me.Guess i wont be lucky and anyone that doesn't get the joke and takes the advice, you wont get a second chance.

By Anonymous (ipa-17.peoplescom.net - 67.221.128.18) on Friday, April 04, 2008 - 8:32 am: Edit Post

this crap is funny and i thought that it was real and i study snakes it took a second to realize it was fake

By Anonymous (r74-193-68-122.pfvlcmta01.grtntx.tl.dh.suddenlink.net - 74.193.68.122) on Saturday, April 05, 2008 - 3:32 pm: Edit Post

this is all just stupid all i wanted was stuff for my science project!

By Anonymous (cpe-065-190-223-110.nc.res.rr.com - 65.190.223.110) on Thursday, May 08, 2008 - 8:50 pm: Edit Post

it was so funny reading all that you wrote and other peoples comments. For a second I actually thought it was true the whole time my favorite part is: when the snake has reached your knees,that part was so funny but it freaked me out a little. Make sure to write be sure your wearing sketchers shoes cause if your wearing something else than the snake will get past your knees and to your hips.

By Anonymous (64.207.27.1) on Friday, May 09, 2008 - 11:33 am: Edit Post

why bring a knife when you could bring a 12 gauge. Say hello to my little friend, lol.

By cheekacheekayeah (adsl-065-012-181-207.sip.asm.bellsouth.net - 65.12.181.207) on Tuesday, May 27, 2008 - 8:38 pm: Edit Post

cheeka cheeka yeah