November 14, 2004: Headlines: Election2004: Humor: Happy Scrappy: RPCV Gene Stone writes The Bush Survival Bible

Peace Corps Online: Peace Corps News: Library: Peace Corps: Humor : Humor and the Peace Corps: November 14, 2004: Headlines: Election2004: Humor: Happy Scrappy: RPCV Gene Stone writes The Bush Survival Bible

By Admin1 (admin) (pool-151-196-36-89.balt.east.verizon.net - 151.196.36.89) on Sunday, November 21, 2004 - 2:18 pm: Edit Post

RPCV Gene Stone writes The Bush Survival Bible

RPCV Gene Stone writes The Bush Survival Bible

RPCV Gene Stone writes The Bush Survival Bible

Stop the presses! No, really. Stop them.

I would love to have seen the scene yesterday at Random House Publishing: two authors, one Democrat and one Republican, silently rooting against their candidate of choice so their jokey coffee table book would be published. Will it be bathroom reading for right-wing wingnuts or pinko lefties? Kerry-haters or Bush-haters? A waste of paper called "250 Ways to Make It Through the Next Four Years Without Mandatory French Class" or a waste of paper called "250 Ways to Make It Through the Next Four Years Without Misunderestimating the Dangers Ahead"?

Well, we all know the answer. Its appropriately lame press release, sent out to publications everywhere, comes after the jump.

-----Original Message-----
From: Fillon, Barbara
Sent: Wednesday, November 03, 2004 3:34 PM
Subject: Post-Election-Stress Disorder / NEW BOOK

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
CONTACT: Barbara Fillon 212/572-4995,

Guide to Surviving Post-Election-Stress Disorder to Be Published Next Tuesday

THE BUSH SURVIVAL BIBLE

250 Ways to Make It Through the Next Four Years Without Misunderestimating the Dangers Ahead, and Other Subliminable Stategeries
by Gene Stone

On sale date: November 9, 2004, $9.95, paperback

Villard will rush to stores within one week of November 2nd an essential guide for those who are less than pleased with the 2004 election results.

It IS funny. Bushisms, such as the ones listed above in the book’s subtitle, make us laugh, especially if you voted for Gore and Kerry. However, after another Bush victory, you are less likely to find as much relief from the subject/verb disagreement, the invented words, and the general bizarreness of Dubya’s speech and thoughts. So while THE BUSH SURVIVAL BIBLE is filled with humorous material and lots of it, its main message is a serious one: now more than ever is not the time to disengage, to grow more apathetic, to be an armchair Democrat or a mortified Republican whose vote for Kerry didn’t, in the end, make a difference.

So most importantly, THE BUSH SURVIVAL BIBLE is an essential guide to help you cope and fight back. This upbeat, forward-thinking, realistic book shows you how to channel your anger in a positive direction. Ranging from the comical to the practical, some sample topics covered are:

** Advice on how to get involved with local politics

** Groups to join such as MoveOn, Wellstone Action, and Democracy for America

** What is Post-Election-Stress Disorder (PESD)?

** What anti-depressants would be best for PESD?

** Would getting a pet help PESD? And if so, which breed: Saint Bernard or a Shih tzu? What about a cat?

** So you’ve got PESD really bad? In these pages, a medical expert weighs in on the possibility of hypnotizing yourself into believing that Kerry won.

** Not into hypnotism? Pack your bags and move to another country. Find out details about visas to welcoming countries that Bush hopefully won’t bomb.

** Get expert medical advice from Mark Liponis, M. D., who writes on how to fight panic and monitor blood pressure. He also suggests that men bank their sperm in order to protect them from four more years of damage under Dubya’s lax environmental laws.

** Advice on how to invest your money over the next 4 years with Dubya

** Advice on setting up a medical expense account since your health insurance will certainly cover even less in the next 4 years than it did in the last 4 years

** Advice on how to get beyond polarized politics and suggested reading by Republicans against Dubya

** Learn about possible reality TV programs such as American Idle, Outsourced, Republican Eye for the Liberal Guy, Marry a Trillionaire, and Trading Tax Brackets.

** Get inspired by learning more about up-and-coming Democrats such as South Dakota Representative Stephanie Herseth, Senator-elect Barack Obama, Ohio Representative Tim Ryan, NY Attorney General Elliot Spitzer, and Iowa Governor Tom Vilsack.

* Learn about historical figures who are actually worse than Dubya, such as Ivan the Terrible, Pol Pot, and Toms de Torquemada, who in 1483 promoted the extensive use of imaginative forms of torture, including bloodletting, foot roasting, the rack, and suffocation.

** Learn about contemporary American politicians who are actually more frightening than Dubya, such as Richard Barrett, founder of the white supremacist Nationalist Movement, Alan Keye, Republican candidate for US Senate, who said, “Christ would not vote for Barack Obama,” and Patrick Johnston, a vice chairman of the Ohio branch of the far-right Constitution Party, who said, “I support and endorse the criminalization of homosexuality, and believe the issue of whether gay Americans should be executed is a decision best left to the states.”

So, you see, the next four years are not the end of the world. Some perspective helps. There are politicians who are worse than Bush, and there are many Democrats on the rise. There are things you can DO, and organizations you can join. With some relaxation techniques, a new pet, a copy of THE BUSH SURVIVAL BIBLE, and possibly some psychiatric drugs and an extended trip to another country, you WILL be OK!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Gene Stone, a former newspaper, magazine and book editor, has collaborated on more than twenty books and has written articles for Esquire, GQ, Premiere, and New York magazines. A graduate of Stanford and Harvard, and a former Peace Corps volunteer, he lives in New York with his cat, a black-and-white Democrat named Gus.


Barbara Fillon
Assistant Publicity Director
Random House Publishing Group
1745 Broadway, 17th Floor
New York, NY 10019
212-572-4995
bfillon@randomhouse.com






When this story was posted in November 2004, this was on the front page of PCOL:

The Birth of the Peace Corps The Birth of the Peace Corps
UMBC's Shriver Center and the Maryland Returned Volunteers hosted Scott Stossel, biographer of Sargent Shriver, who spoke on the Birth of the Peace Corps. This is the second annual Peace Corps History series - last year's speaker was Peace Corps Director Jack Vaughn.
Vote "Yes" on NPCA's bylaw changes Vote "Yes" on NPCA's bylaw changes
Take our new poll. NPCA members begin voting this week on bylaw changes to streamline NPCA's Board of Directors. NPCA Chair Ken Hill, the President's Forum and other RPCVs endorse the changes. Mail in your ballot or vote online (after Dec 1), then see on how RPCVs are voting.
Charges possible in 1976 PCV slaying Charges possible in 1976 PCV slaying
Congressman Norm Dicks has asked the U.S. attorney in Seattle to consider pursuing charges against Dennis Priven, the man accused of killing Peace Corps Volunteer Deborah Gardner on the South Pacific island of Tonga 28 years ago. Background on this story here and here.
Your vote makes a difference Your vote makes a difference
Make a difference on November 2 - Vote. Then take our RPCV exit poll. See how RPCV's are voting and take a look at the RPCV voter demographic. Finally leave a message on why you voted for John Kerry or for George Bush. Previous poll results here.
Kerry reaches out to Returned Volunteers Kerry reaches out to Returned Volunteers
The Kerry campaign wants the RPCV vote. Read our interview with Dave Magnani, Massachusetts State Senator and Founder of "RPCVs for Kerry," and his answers to our questions about Kerry's plan to triple the size of the Peace Corps, should the next PC Director be an RPCV, and Safety and Security issues. Then read the "RPCVs for Kerry" statement of support and statements by Dr. Robert Pastor, Ambassador Parker Borg, and Paul Oostburg Sanz made at the "RPCVs for Kerry" Press Conference.

RPCV Carl Pope says the key to winning this election is not swaying undecided voters, but persuading those already willing to vote for your candidate to actually go to the polls.

Take our poll and tell us what you are doing to support your candidate.

Finally read our wrap-up of the eight RPCVs in Senate and House races around the country and where the candidates are in their races.
Director Gaddi Vasquez:  The PCOL Interview Director Gaddi Vasquez: The PCOL Interview
PCOL sits down for an extended interview with Peace Corps Director Gaddi Vasquez. Read the entire interview from start to finish and we promise you will learn something about the Peace Corps you didn't know before.

Plus the debate continues over Safety and Security.

Read the stories and leave your comments.






Some postings on Peace Corps Online are provided to the individual members of this group without permission of the copyright owner for the non-profit purposes of criticism, comment, education, scholarship, and research under the "Fair Use" provisions of U.S. Government copyright laws and they may not be distributed further without permission of the copyright owner. Peace Corps Online does not vouch for the accuracy of the content of the postings, which is the sole responsibility of the copyright holder.

Story Source: Happy Scrappy

This story has been posted in the following forums: : Headlines; Election2004; Humor

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