Jane Cassidy writes: In other parts of the world, a long wait is considered 'found time'



A psychologist friend was telling me that she noticed how many more of her clients had "patience" issues. "We're a culture that hates any kind of delay," she mused, "but in other parts of the world, a long wait is considered 'found time'" - a term she'd heard years ago when she was working for the Peace Corps in West Africa. "No matter how long a line is, people rarely get irritated," she said. "In general, men and women alike view the downtime as an unexpected break."

Jane Cassidy writes: In other parts of the world, a long wait is considered 'found time'

how I learned to slow down

Jul 1, 2006
Shape

... and start enjoying the little pleasures in life.

Stuck waiting? Think of it as an opportunity to connect with friends.

Until recently, I was the type of person who would honk if another driver didn't hit the gas immediately when the light turned green or roll my eyes if anyone dared to enter the supermarket express Une with 11 instead of 10 items in her shopping cart. These people were holding me up - and I had places to be. With two kids, a husband, a demanding job, a baby sitter who doesn't drive, and a seemingly never-ending to-do list, I managed my time with military precision, fully aware that one little glitch could put me behind for the entire day. Just the thought of precious time wasted turned me into a foottapping picture of frustration, even if the slowdown was as minor as getting stuck on the voicemail merry-go-round - or behind a poky person on the sidewalk.
Of course, I never really asked myself why my life had to be this way. Me, have time for reflection? Only when I slowed down to say, chat with a friend, which was rare.

And that's exactly when my "aha" moment happened, over an innocent cup of coffee: A psychologist friend was telling me that she noticed how many more of her clients had "patience" issues. "We're a culture that hates any kind of delay," she mused, "but in other parts of the world, a long wait is considered 'found time'" - a term she'd heard years ago when she was working for the Peace Corps in West Africa. "No matter how long a line is, people rarely get irritated," she said. "In general, men and women alike view the downtime as an unexpected break."

The next day at the pharmacy, I had to wait what seemed like hours - okay, 10 minutes - to get a prescription filled. As I felt my blood pressure rise, I recalled my friend's words and decided to try an experiment: Instead of fretting about how this was going to set me back, what would happen if I just accepted the delay? I took a few deep breaths, listened to die overhead music from the store's radio and browsed the shelves. Tb my surprise, I really did feel more relaxed. I even smiled (for once) at the clerk when I paid for my medication.

I was convinced: I was happy to try and embrace the concept of "found time" whenever life threw a wrench in my schedule. I even rediscovered one of the greatest joys in life: daydreaming. After years of rarely having the chance to be alone with my thoughts - more often than not, I can't even take a shower or go to the bathroom without a child visiting me - it was truly invigorating. When I got stuck in line or otherwise delayed, I used the time to plan a vacation away, brainstorm about a book I wanted to write or just relax (imagine that!).

It wasn't a total turnaround, but I soon noticed that my setbacks were more likely to occur on jampacked days. What pushes my stress buttons: the expectation that I have to cram five things into the amount of time that I can realistically tackle three. Cutting back on one or two commitments a day gave me some muchneeded breathing space.

A few days ago, I had a doctor's appointment. The old me would've worried about how long I was going to have to spend in the waiting room and whether I'd be late for everything else that day. The new me tossed a novel I'd been dying to read into my bag. And when the nurse said, "I'm sorry he's running behind," I just smiled and turned the page.

"Cutting back on one or two commitments a day gave me some much- needed breathing space."

JANE CASSIDY, a writer and mother of two. lives in Washington, D.C.

Copyright American Media, Inc. Jul 2006

When this story was posted in July 2006, this was on the front page of PCOL:




Peace Corps Online The Independent News Forum serving Returned Peace Corps Volunteers

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Jody Olsen is acting Peace Corps Director The Senate confirmed Gaddi Vasquez to head the FAO on June 30. Jody Olsen will be acting Director until the President makes a permanent appointment. Olsen has been Deputy Director of the Peace Corps since 2002. She has previously served as Chief of Staff for two directors, as regional director for North Africa, Near East, and Asia and the Pacific, and as country director in Togo. She served in Tunisia as a PCV.

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The Peace Corps Library The Peace Corps Library is now available online with over 40,000 index entries in 500 categories. Looking for a Returned Volunteer? Check our RPCV Directory. New: Sign up to receive PCOL Magazine, our free Monthly Magazine by email. Like to keep up with Peace Corps news as it happens? Sign up to recieve a daily summary of Peace Corps stories from around the world.

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