It seems that it is tradition to marry at around 21-22 in ROG, and they have a hard time understanding me when I tell them that “I never want to get married.” “No,” they say, “don't you want a wife and kisd?! Kids are gifts from God and you should have as many as you can.” I usually respond by saying “I’m sorry I don’t understand” to stop the conversation from going further, but I always wish I had enough guts and glory to say “I am at the top of my game and I cant be brought down by the ‘man,’ let alone a bunch of kids!”
Peace Corps Volunteer Yuta in Georgia: “why no wife yuta, why no wife?”
No wife and evil places
“why no wife yuta, why no wife?”
I get this question ALL the time from many, many people. It seems that it is tradition to marry at around 21-22 in ROG, and they have a hard time understanding me when I tell them that “I never want to get married.” “No,” they say, “don't you want a wife and kisd?! Kids are gifts from God and you should have as many as you can.” I usually respond by saying “I’m sorry I don’t understand” to stop the conversation from going further, but I always wish I had enough guts and glory to say “I am at the top of my game and I cant be brought down by the ‘man,’ let alone a bunch of kids!”
Recently I have thought about the hoopla surrounding weddings, marriage, and family. Why is everyone so adamant on getting married already (even in America)? Personally—and really this is just my opinion—I feel that I have just started my life, and at the very least I need to live it up a little bit before I even think about settling down (if that ever does happen). A neighbor of my host family married when she was just 15 and her husband was 25—interesting no? My host sister-in-law and host brother eloped when they were 20 and they now have two children. Crazy, it’s all just crazy.
It is interesting how some cultural beliefs are so engrained into the people here. For instance, a fellow PCT described how her host-sister is very religious and modest, but every morning when she goes to the picture of St. Nino to pray in her home she goes in her underwear and bra—talk about decency and respect. Another thing is that they love Hollywood, American pop culture, and all things western. The funny thing, however, is that in ROG it is bad to wear tight and fitted clothing, but when you walk around town and look around, that is all that the girls are wearing. I was told by my host sister that “in ROG the divorce rate is 1% (umm…ok, whatever),” and that “American girls are bad girls because they live with a man before they are married.” “Not everyone does that, though,” I try to say in my stumbling and crippled Georgian language, but she just goes on to say that “here in ROG if a woman is divorced she cannot get married again because she is not a virgin, and non-virgins are bad-bad-bad girls and no one will ever marry them. Georgian men only want to marry virgins, and, as such, they will not even consider looking at a woman if she is rumored to have had a serious relationship with someone before.” Life here is strict. Strict for woman that is, because apparently it is ok for a boy/man to sleep around and still be considered a very eligible bachelor. Gender differences confuse me.
It may be that my family and the people I have come across think like this, but, obviously, their perception of western culture and their perception of their own culture here tend to be skewed or mistaken sometimes. Obviously I am not an expert on Georgian culture, so I guess I am still just trying to take all of this in, but, as a fellow PCT told me, gender issues in developing countries is a huge deal and need to be addressed. I agree with her, but all I can think of is “how?”
