Rev. Lauren R. Stanley (RPCV Kenya) is an appointed missionary serving in the Diocese of Renk in the Episcopal Church of Sudan



"Eight years ago, I knew that part of my call was to teach. Part was to be a missionary. Part was to return to Africa (where I had served as a Peace Corps volunteer two decades earlier). Part was to serve marginalized people. Part was to work for peace and justice. And part was to tell the story, both God's and that of God's people. "

Rev. Lauren R. Stanley (RPCV Kenya) is an appointed missionary serving in the Diocese of Renk in the Episcopal Church of Sudan

Tears of joy and thankfulness

Apr 26, 2006

Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service

RENK, Sudan -- The other day, I cried.

It was Friday, April 21, and I was standing in the library at the Renk Bible College, where I serve as a missionary and lecturer, and I cried.

These were not tears of frustration, many of which I have shed in the 10 months I have been here, where language and customs and a whole different approach to time and urgency have challenged me every day.

And they were not tears of loneliness, although I've shed those a number of times, too. I am 7,000 miles from my home of 18 years, and when e-mail fails and the mobile network is on the fritz and I can't be in contact with family and friends, the loneliness sometimes overwhelms me. That feeling is compounded by how most people identify me here, as "khawaja," the "white woman from outside." That's the first word a toddler who lives across the dirt road from me has learned to say, and she greets me with it every day. In some ways, it is cute; but there are days when I regret that she knows me only by my skin color.

And these were not even tears of sorrow -- I've long grown past those, which occurred frequently in my first days here in Sudan, when I was regretting what I had left behind.

No, these were tears of joy, tears of faith and tears of thankfulness. For that day, April 21, was the feast day of Anselm of Bec, the day when Anglicans around the world remember the man who was Archbishop of Canterbury 1,000 years ago, a man proclaimed as one of the great teachers of the church, a man who decried the "fool" who claimed God does not exist.

I wasn't weeping for Anselm, despite the fact that he is my patron saint of sorts and that, from him, I learned more about faith seeking understanding than anyone else.

No, I stood for a moment amid all our dusty books in the library and wept because on that day eight years previously, I was ordained a priest in the Episcopal Church. I wept because I have come so far and my life has changed so much, and yet, right now, I realize how much my life has come full circle in those eight years.

Memories of my ordination day flooded me as I stood there: memories of being unable to sleep the night before, and of my sister- in-law coming to my room at 4:30 in the morning to comfort me; of friends and family coming from all over the country to be with me that day and uphold me in my vows; of the incredible weight of the bishop's hands on my head as he ordained me; of slapping high-fives with my brother as I walked back down the aisle at the end of the service; and most of all, of the sense of holiness that pervaded the entire day, the sense that God was with me and that I was doing exactly what God wanted in that moment, in that place.

And now, eight years later, I have that same sense, that same feeling -- that I am doing exactly what God wants, in this moment, in this place.

Eight years ago, I knew that part of my call was to teach. Part was to be a missionary. Part was to return to Africa (where I had served as a Peace Corps volunteer two decades earlier). Part was to serve marginalized people. Part was to work for peace and justice. And part was to tell the story, both God's and that of God's people.

All of which I am doing now, in this place that often feels like the middle of nowhere, where electricity is iffy and water must be filtered and news is slow to trickle in. I am doing all of the things I thought God wanted me to do when God called me to the priesthood.

Oh, there have been days of doubt about my call, and not just here in Sudan. I've had a less-than-stellar career in the church. I've left two churches where the calls did not work out. I've spent time as a peripatetic supply priest, going from parish to parish Sunday after Sunday, wherever the people needed a priest to preach and celebrate. I have had what I am convinced is one of the shortest tenures as a rector, or senior priest, in a parish in the history of the church. I've had people question my call, sometimes because I am a woman, and sometimes because those people and I did not get along.

But somehow, God has redeemed all of those difficulties and brought me to this place, at this time, to help build up a church that has been through tremendous difficulties because of a 21-year civil war. I am teaching students who are starving to get more information so that their faith can be nourished, and so that they, in turn, can nourish others. I live among a people who consider me "other" but who still make me feel welcome. I am supported by family and friends and by complete strangers who believe that what I am doing is good and deserves their support.

All of those thoughts flooded me the other day.

Which is why I stood among the books and cried.

And said, "Thank you, Lord, for what you have done and are doing in my life."

That's how I celebrated the anniversary of my ordination.

With tears of joy and faith and thankfulness.

------

(The Rev. Lauren R. Stanley is an appointed missionary serving in the Diocese of Renk in the Episcopal Church of Sudan.)

------(c) 2006, Knight Ridder/Tribune News ServiceDistributed by Knight Ridder/Tribune Information Services.

When this story was posted in July 2006, this was on the front page of PCOL:




Peace Corps Online The Independent News Forum serving Returned Peace Corps Volunteers

---

Jody Olsen is acting Peace Corps Director The Senate confirmed Gaddi Vasquez to head the FAO on June 30. Jody Olsen will be acting Director until the President makes a permanent appointment. Olsen has been Deputy Director of the Peace Corps since 2002. She has previously served as Chief of Staff for two directors, as regional director for North Africa, Near East, and Asia and the Pacific, and as country director in Togo. She served in Tunisia as a PCV.

---

---

The Peace Corps Library The Peace Corps Library is now available online with over 40,000 index entries in 500 categories. Looking for a Returned Volunteer? Check our RPCV Directory. New: Sign up to receive PCOL Magazine, our free Monthly Magazine by email. Like to keep up with Peace Corps news as it happens? Sign up to recieve a daily summary of Peace Corps stories from around the world.

---

Changing the Face of Hunger In his new book, Former Congressman Tony Hall (RPCV Thailand) says humanitarian aid is the most potent weapon the United States can deploy against terrorism. An evangelical Christian, he is a big believer in faith-based organizations in the fight against hunger. Members of Congress have recently recommended that Hall be appointed special envoy to Sudan to focus on ending the genocide in Darfur.

---

PC will not return to East Timor in 2006 Volunteers serving in East Timor have safely left the country as a result of the recent civil unrest and government instability. Latest: The Peace Corps has informed us that at this time, the Peace Corps has no plans to re-enter the country in 2006. The Peace Corps recently sent a letter offering eligible volunteers the opportunity to reinstate their service in another country.

---

Chris Dodd considers run for the White House Senator Chris Dodd plans to spend the next six to eight months raising money and reaching out to Democrats around the country to gauge his viability as a candidate. Just how far Dodd can go depends largely on his ability to reach Democrats looking for an alternative to Hillary Clinton. PCOL Comment: Dodd served as a Volunteer in the Dominican Republic and has been one of the strongest supporters of the Peace Corps in Congress.

---

The RPCV who wrote about Ben Hogan Probably no RPCV has done more to further the Third Goal of the Peace Corps than John Coyne with the Peace Corps Writers web site and newsletter that he and Marian Haley Beil have produced since 1989. Now John returns to writing about his first love - golf in "The Caddie who knew Ben Hogan." Read an excerpt from his novel, an interview with the author and a schedule of his book readings in Maryland and DC this week.

---

Vasquez testifies before Senate Committee Director Vasquez testifies before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee on his nomination as the new Representative to the United Nations Agencies for Food and Agriculture replacing Tony Hall. He has been the third longest serving Peace Corps Director after Loret Ruppe Miller and Sargent Shriver. PCOL Comment: Read our thanks to Director Vasquez for his service to the Peace Corps.

---

First Amendment Watch Maine Web Report hit with Federal Lawsuit Website wins trademark suit against Jerry Falwell

---

Interview with a Hit Man RPCV John Perkins says that for many years he was an "economic hit man" in the world of international finance whose primary job was to convince less developed countries to accept multibillion dollar loans for infrastructure projects that left the recipient countries wallowing in debt and highly vulnerable to outside political and commercial interests. In this exclusive interview for "Peace Corps Online," Colombia RPCV Joanne Roll, author of Remember with Honor, talks to Perkins about his Peace Corps service, his relation with the NSA, "colonization" in Ecuador, the consequences of his work, why he decided to speak out, and what his hopes are for change.

---

PC Program in Chad temporarily suspended Director Vasquez announced the temporary suspension of the Peace Corps program in Chad on April 14 and that all 29 Peace Corps volunteers have left the country. With a program dating back forty years (See Page 4 of the April 1966 "Peace Corps Volunteer"), RPCVs hope that volunteers can return to Chad as soon as the situation has stabilized. Congratulations to the Peace Corps for handling the suspension quickly and professionally.

---

Peace Corps stonewalls on FOIA request The Ashland Daily Tidings reports that Peace Corps has blocked their request for information on the Volkart case. "After the Tidings requested information pertaining to why Volkart was denied the position — on March 2 — the newspaper received a letter from the Peace Corps FOIA officer stating the requested information was protected under an exemption of the act." The Dayton Daily News had similar problems with FOIA requests for their award winning series on Volunteer Safety and Security.

---

PCOL readership increases 100% Monthly readership on "Peace Corps Online" has increased in the past twelve months to 350,000 visitors - over eleven thousand every day - a 100% increase since this time last year. Thanks again, RPCVs and Friends of the Peace Corps, for making PCOL your source of information for the Peace Corps community. And thanks for supporting the Peace Corps Library and History of the Peace Corps. Stay tuned, the best is yet to come.

---

History of the Peace Corps PCOL is proud to announce that Phase One of the "History of the Peace Corps" is now available online. This installment includes over 5,000 pages of primary source documents from the archives of the Peace Corps including every issue of "Peace Corps News," "Peace Corps Times," "Peace Corps Volunteer," "Action Update," and every annual report of the Peace Corps to Congress since 1961. "Ask Not" is an ongoing project. Read how you can help.

---

RPCV admits to abuse while in Peace Corps Timothy Ronald Obert has pleaded guilty to sexually abusing a minor in Costa Rica while serving there as a Peace Corps volunteer. "The Peace Corps has a zero tolerance policy for misconduct that violates the law or standards of conduct established by the Peace Corps," said Peace Corps Director Gaddi H. Vasquez. Could inadequate screening have been partly to blame? Mr. Obert's resume, which he had submitted to the Peace Corps in support of his application to become a Peace Corps Volunteer, showed that he had repeatedly sought and obtained positions working with underprivileged children. Read what RPCVs have to say about this case.

---

Military Option sparks concerns The U.S. military, struggling to fill its voluntary ranks, is allowing recruits to meet part of their reserve military obligations after active duty by serving in the Peace Corps. Read why there is opposition to the program among RPCVs. Director Vasquez says the agency has a long history of accepting qualified applicants who are in inactive military status. John Coyne says "Not only no, but hell no!" and RPCV Chris Matthews leads the debate on "Hardball." Avi Spiegel says Peace Corps is not the place for soldiers while Coleman McCarthy says to Welcome Soldiers to the Peace Corps. Read our poll results. Latest: Congress passed a bill on December 22 including language to remove Peace Corps from the National Call to Service (NCS) military recruitment program

---

Why blurring the lines puts PCVs in danger When the National Call to Service legislation was amended to include Peace Corps in December of 2002, this country had not yet invaded Iraq and was not in prolonged military engagement in the Middle East, as it is now. Read the story of how one volunteer spent three years in captivity from 1976 to 1980 as the hostage of a insurrection group in Colombia in Joanne Marie Roll's op-ed on why this legislation may put soldier/PCVs in the same kind of danger. Latest: Read the ongoing dialog on the subject.

Read the stories and leave your comments.