Kyrgyzstan Peace Corps Volunteer Jason Lemberg writes: Peace Corps is not a step you take in your life; junior high to high school is a step, Peace Corps is a free fall.



"I feel as if I have base-jumped from a cliff into cloudy valley; every so often I am thrown into the cliff by a gust of wind and then, slowly, I regain control and work my way back into the free fall. I really never feel like I have control over anything here besides what goes on inside my head, and even that can be a bit shaky at times. Don’t get be wrong, I am not going crazy (crazier) nor am I disliking my experience here. I am simply stating that uprooting myself from everything I’ve ever known has proven to have much more effect on me than I could ever thought."

Kyrgyzstan Peace Corps Volunteer Jason Lemberg writes: Peace Corps is not a step you take in your life; junior high to high school is a step, Peace Corps is a free fall.

The Joy and the Struggle

[Excerpt]

8/24/06

6:15 PM

I remember having countless conversations before I left to come here about how big of a step in my life joining Peace Corps was for me. What an obscene understatement. Peace Corps is not a step you take in your life; junior high to high school is a step, Peace Corps is a free fall. I feel as if I have base-jumped from a cliff into cloudy valley; every so often I am thrown into the cliff by a gust of wind and then, slowly, I regain control and work my way back into the free fall. I really never feel like I have control over anything here besides what goes on inside my head, and even that can be a bit shaky at times. Don’t get be wrong, I am not going crazy (crazier) nor am I disliking my experience here. I am simply stating that uprooting myself from everything I’ve ever known has proven to have much more effect on me than I could ever thought. I love what I am doing and I love where I am at. There are plenty of crazy reasons why I am so happy with what I am doing. Happiness now, though, in my present situation, rises out of the conquering of the unknown. It’s this crazy part of my “happy” reasons that scares me because they involve putting myself time and time again through struggle, turmoil, and countless trips into my soul; a place which I have rarely visited in my short lifetime.

In a short month here I have taken many journeys deep into my soul, and I have truly surprised myself with what I have found. The most expected find and dually the most challenging has been that gaps between where I have and where I have never gone. Deep inside of my soul and my thoughts there are endless dark tunnels dying to be explored. The scary part is that I have taken a few initial steps in the past month into these tunnels and I’ve struggled immensely with what I found. Amidst all of my confidence and budding intelligence lies a very unsure young man. Is it insecurity? I don’t know. In a very ironic twist to “soul searching,” I have grown more and more confident with myself as I find out more and more about my insecurities and shortcomings. All of this exploring has taken place during my experienced of isolation; feeling the pains of loneliness has really opened me up to many of my “insecurities.” I remember having a conversation with a dear friend of mine, Dr. Martin Forward, over lunch a short while before I left. He was sharing with me many of the emotions, joys, and struggles that he went through during his long stay in India during his youth (to be exact, when he was 23, as I am now). The one thing that stuck with me was his discussion about the loneliness; he stayed far away from warning me, he simply laid it out there for me to have in my mind. I remember him paying special attention to idea of feeling completely isolated and lonely in the middle of a crowd. I wish now I would have prodded a bit deeper for more of his insight. It is amazing how I can be surrounded by an entire country of people, Peace Corps volunteers included, and still have moments where I feel entirely isolated and alone. And the scary part is that I am still month away from leaving for my permanent site. I have eleven other trainees in my village with me and I see the other fifty-eight volunteers twice a week for different training sessions. I am far from lonely yet; soon long winter days will truly begin the test.

It’s inevitable though, I have never been a part of anything in my life that has come this close to closing me off from everything I’ve ever known. Granted I have pictures, a laptop, and some movies. But try talking to your parents in a picture frame or attempting to telepathically talk to your best friends, it just doesn’t work, I’ve tried. Due to a lack of constant outlets for conversation with people I have known my entire life, I have been forced to really take the time to explore my thoughts with the person who knows me best: myself. Only time will tell how crazy I really am.

When this story was posted in October 2006, this was on the front page of PCOL:




Peace Corps Online The Independent News Forum serving Returned Peace Corps Volunteers

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Chris Dodd's Vision for the Peace Corps Senator Chris Dodd (RPCV Dominican Republic) spoke at the ceremony for this year's Shriver Award and elaborated on issues he raised at Ron Tschetter's hearings. Dodd plans to introduce legislation that may include: setting aside a portion of Peace Corps' budget as seed money for demonstration projects and third goal activities (after adjusting the annual budget upward to accommodate the added expense), more volunteer input into Peace Corps operations, removing medical, healthcare and tax impediments that discourage older volunteers, providing more transparency in the medical screening and appeals process, a more comprehensive health safety net for recently-returned volunteers, and authorizing volunteers to accept, under certain circumstances, private donations to support their development projects. He plans to circulate draft legislation for review to members of the Peace Corps community and welcomes RPCV comments.

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The Peace Corps Library The Peace Corps Library is now available online with over 40,000 index entries in 500 categories. Looking for a Returned Volunteer? Check our RPCV Directory or leave a message on our Bulletin Board. New: Sign up to receive our free Monthly Magazine by email, research the History of the Peace Corps, or sign up for a daily news summary of Peace Corps stories. FAQ: Visit our FAQ for more information about PCOL.

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He served with honor One year ago, Staff Sgt. Robert J. Paul (RPCV Kenya) carried on an ongoing dialog on this website on the military and the peace corps and his role as a member of a Civil Affairs Team in Iraq and Afghanistan. We have just received a report that Sargeant Paul has been killed by a car bomb in Kabul. Words cannot express our feeling of loss for this tremendous injury to the entire RPCV community. Most of us didn't know him personally but we knew him from his words. Our thoughts go out to his family and friends. He was one of ours and he served with honor.

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September 12, 2006: This Month's Top Stories John Coyne writes: The Lion in the Garden 12 Sep John McCain says: We passed up an opportunity after 911 12 Sep Jody Olsen speaks at Headquarters about 911 11 Sep Bill Moyers Returns to Investigative Reporting 8 Sep Boating Accident kills two PCVs in Mali 7 Sep Director Vasquez bids Farewell to Washington 7 Sep James Rupert writes: Pact reached with pro-Taliban forces 6 Sep Carol Bellamy to speak at Global Risk Conference 5 Sep New trial ordered for Jerry Mark in murder case 2 Sep Ken Hill to step down as NPCA Chairman 1 Sep Clintons, Gearans dine at resort 1 Sep 'Chris Matthews' Turns 5 31 Aug Taylor Hackford thinks Chuck Berry is a pain in the ass 31 Aug John Kefalas alleges dirty tactics in house race 30 Aug DRI receives Charity Navigator's highest ratings 29 Aug Kris Holloway writes "Monique and the Mango Rains'' 28 Aug Richard Celeste writes: Watch Out For Voting Day Bugs 28 Aug Donna Shalala boosted UM's image 27 Aug Leonard Robinson devoted his life to the underserved 24 Aug Phil Hardberger will run for re-election in 2007 24 Aug Snakes on the Plain - the black mamba 23 Aug Eunice Kennedy Shriver still going strong 20 Aug

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Meet Ron Tschetter - Our Next Director Read our story about Ron Tschetter's confirmation hearing before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee that was carried on C-Span. It was very different from the Vasquez hearings in 2001, very cut and dried with low attendance by the public. Among the highlights, Tschetter intends to make recruitment of baby boomers a priority, there are 20 countries under consideration for future programs, Senator Dodd intends to re-introduce his third goal Peace Corps legislation this session, Tschetter is a great admirer of Senator Coleman's quest for accountability, Dodd thinks management at PC may not put volunteers first, Dodd wants Tschetter to look into problems in medical selection, and Tschetter is not a blogger and knows little about the internet or guidelines for volunteer blogs. Read our recap of the hearings as well as Senator Coleman's statement and Tschetter's statement.

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Chris Shays Shifts to Favor an Iraq Timetable In a policy shift, RPCV Congressman Chris Shays, long a staunch advocate of the Bush administration's position in Iraq, is now proposing a timetable for a withdrawal of American troops. How Mr. Shays came to this change of heart is, he says, a matter of a newfound substantive belief that Iraqis need to be prodded into taking greater control of their own destiny under the country’s newly formed government. As Chairman of the House Government Reform subcommittee on national security, he plans to draft a timetable for a phased withdrawal and then push for its adoption. A conscientious objector during the Vietnam War who said that if drafted he would not serve, Chris Shays has made 14 trips to Iraq and was the first Congressman to enter the country after the war - against the wishes of the Department of Defense.

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Peace Corps' Screening and Medical Clearance The purpose of Peace Corps' screening and medical clearance process is to ensure safe accommodation for applicants and minimize undue risk exposure for volunteers to allow PCVS to complete their service without compromising their entry health status. To further these goals, PCOL has obtained a copy of the Peace Corps Screening Guidelines Manual through the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) and has posted it in the "Peace Corps Library." Applicants and Medical Professionals (especially those who have already served as volunteers) are urged to review the guidelines and leave their comments and suggestions. Then read the story of one RPCV's journey through medical screening and his suggestions for changes to the process.

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The Peace Corps is "fashionable" again The LA Times says that "the Peace Corps is booming again and "It's hard to know exactly what's behind the resurgence." PCOL Comment: Since the founding of the Peace Corps 45 years ago, Americans have answered Kennedy's call: "Ask not what your country can do for you--ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man." Over 182,000 have served. Another 200,000 have applied and been unable to serve because of lack of Congressional funding. The Peace Corps has never gone out of fashion. It's Congress that hasn't been keeping pace.

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Support the US-Peruvian Trade Pact Peruvian President Alejandro Toledo, the Peace Corps President, has been lobbying both Democratic and Republican legislators to support the US-Peruvian trade pact before July 28, when his term ends and a US congressional recess begins. If President Bush fails to get approval before Congress goes on recess, it will be a case study proving that the United States does not reward its friends. Please call your representatives.

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PCOL readership increases 100% Monthly readership on "Peace Corps Online" has increased in the past twelve months to 350,000 visitors - over eleven thousand every day - a 100% increase since this time last year. Thanks again, RPCVs and Friends of the Peace Corps, for making PCOL your source of information for the Peace Corps community. And thanks for supporting the Peace Corps Library and History of the Peace Corps. Stay tuned, the best is yet to come.

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History of the Peace Corps PCOL is proud to announce that Phase One of the "History of the Peace Corps" is now available online. This installment includes over 5,000 pages of primary source documents from the archives of the Peace Corps including every issue of "Peace Corps News," "Peace Corps Times," "Peace Corps Volunteer," "Action Update," and every annual report of the Peace Corps to Congress since 1961. "Ask Not" is an ongoing project. Read how you can help.

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