laura & adam Braddock's peace corps experience in Kyrgyzstan - Let’s talk about sex



Many first time encounters for young Kyrgyz women occur after they are, for better or worse, kidnapped by a man and taken to a room they have never seen before. After the routine celebration with friends and extended family there is a private time. A time for the woman, now made to be wife, and husband to consummate the marriage. But since the woman often knows nothing of what to do or expect, and even the man is sometimes unaware of what to do (aren’t we all – actually, to their credit, many young Kyrgyz men respect the purity of the Kyrgyz girl), our private time now becomes a time for the mother-in-law, sister-in-law, aunt-in-law, etc. The older married women, who are often the protagonists of nonconsensual marriage now take on the role of “facilitators.” From the same room where a stolen girl lie, crying on her back, our “facilitators” reflect on their own experiences to get the new bride through the act. When the act is through, all witnesses wait to see if the stain of purity has left a mark: blood on a white sheet. After marriages, blood stained sheets are often hung with pride from a balcony, or line nearby – purity intact.

laura & adam Braddock's peace corps experience in Kyrgyzstan - Let’s talk about sex

March 14th, 2005 Let’s talk about sex

Virginity is a cherished thing here, perhaps to the extreme. And if it weren’t for the fact that “infidelity” (with a perverted smile) is about the second thing mentioned after “my name is…” with every cabby I meet, I would say sex is taboo too - maybe just for the girls. Sex education is unheard of: a conservative form of sex-ed was lobbied by the Minister of Health, two years ago, who suggested it become a part of upper class curriculum. He was promptly chastised and terminated. It’s no surprise that NGO’s are growing concerned about the threat of AIDS in this country that, not long ago, claimed less than one-hundred cases. The numbers are growing, but they are intangible now: every year hundreds of thousands (about 30% of Kyrgyzstan’s working population) of people leave Kyrgyzstan to work in Russia, where the AIDS epidemic is swelling faster than any other country on earth. Particularly hit hard is the Siberian region from Novosibirsk to Irkutsk, where most Kyrgyz find their work. Most work nine months out of the year then return, mostly men, to young wives and children. The cycle continues; and we begin to understand the cause for concern.

But this entry isn’t about AIDS, it’s about education, or the lack of it: sex, development, reproduction. Where did we learn about this stuff? In school, maybe; the birds and the bee’s talk, probably not; TV? For me it was the illuminating candor, and fleshly endearing characters, of “Where did I Come From?” and “What’s Happening to Me” Egregiously overlooked for the New Yorker’s Hundred best books of the 20th Century. I wish I could find these books in Russian and Kyrgyz, for as basic as they are they could shed a lot of light on the pervading ignorance.

…sounds culturally insensitive, I know. I’ve been defending this a lot lately, and again it comes back to oppressing women, take for instance a brides first sexual encounter in Kyrgyzstan …

Many first time encounters for young Kyrgyz women occur after they are, for better or worse, kidnapped by a man and taken to a room they have never seen before. After the routine celebration with friends and extended family there is a private time. A time for the woman, now made to be wife, and husband to consummate the marriage. But since the woman often knows nothing of what to do or expect, and even the man is sometimes unaware of what to do (aren’t we all – actually, to their credit, many young Kyrgyz men respect the purity of the Kyrgyz girl), our private time now becomes a time for the mother-in-law, sister-in-law, aunt-in-law, etc. The older married women, who are often the protagonists of nonconsensual marriage now take on the role of “facilitators.” From the same room where a stolen girl lie, crying on her back, our “facilitators” reflect on their own experiences to get the new bride through the act. When the act is through, all witnesses wait to see if the stain of purity has left a mark: blood on a white sheet. After marriages, blood stained sheets are often hung with pride from a balcony, or line nearby – purity intact.

No blood could be grounds for separation. If the family is ruthless they will make a pariah out of the girl. Exiled and ashamed, girls may turn to suicide. On the other hand, and fortunately, the more common scenario is sympathy from a family that hours earlier was singing the praises of this fated union. So a white sheet will be hung with the closely kept secret, that of sheep’s blood, or tomato juice. And should the woman, knowing she is pure, feel so inclined, she can go with her husband to the hospital for an examination where a doctor will provide a document certifying that prior to the consummation this woman was indeed a virgin, thus dispelling any reservations of her husband and recently met in-laws.

Links to Related Topics (Tags):

Headlines: March, 2005; Peace Corps Kyrgyzstan; Directory of Kyrgyzstan RPCVs; Messages and Announcements for Kyrgyzstan RPCVs; Blogs - Kyrgyzstan; AIDS; Women's Issues

When this story was posted in January 2007, this was on the front page of PCOL:




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All Volunteers Safe in Fiji All Volunteers in Fiji are safe and accounted for. The Peace Corps is monitoring the situation very closely. Volunteers are on standfast but there are no plans for evacuation at this time. Peace Corps is working closely with the US embassy and with host country partners to monitor the situation. Peace Corps is confident that volunteers are not in harm's way. The military seized control of Fiji on December 5 after weeks of threats. Subscribe to our news feed to read the latest breaking news.

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December 8, 2006: This Month's Top Stories Ryan Morris disputes Borat image of Kazakhstan 20 Nov PCOL announces Peace Corps News Feed 8 Dec Michael O'Hanlon writes: Civil War in Iraq? 4 Dec Dayton Daily News Editor Jeff Bruce retires 3 Dec John Sherman writes libretto for opera "Biafra" 30 Nov Carol Bellamy writes: The Hidden Cost of AIDS 30 Nov Gaddi Vasquez in Egypt with World Food Programme 29 Nov Bill Moyers writes: Message To West Point 29 Nov Alejandro Toledo appointed Stanford Fellow 29 Nov PC to start five new Master's International Programs 27 Nov Garamendi hopes to reshape role as lieutenant governor 26 Nov Parents plant seeds of caring for Carrie Jane Dulin 25 Nov Beth Duff-Brown returns to Congo Kinshasa 25 Nov Forbes gives Direct Relief International perfect score 23 Nov Margaret Krome writes: Parents provide a lesson 22 Nov PC IG investing in case management system 21 Nov Amy Taylor producing a CD called "NamibiAlive 20 Nov Chris Matthews interviews Seymour Hersh on Iran 20 Nov Joe Acaba speaks to Tech students 20 Nov Jeffrey Stanaway teaches life skills to at-risk teens 19 Nov Sam Farr's spinach fest 18 Nov Dodd Introduces Effective Terrorists Prosecution Act 16 Nov

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Ron Tschetter in Morocco and Jordan On his first official trip since being confirmed as Peace Corps Director, Ron Tschetter (shown at left with PCV Tia Tucker) is on a ten day trip to Morocco and Jordan. Traveling with his wife (Both are RPCVs.), Tschetter met with volunteers in Morocco working in environment, youth development, health, and small business development. He began his trip to Jordan by meeting with His Majesty King Abdullah II and Her Majesty Queen Rania Al Abdullah and discussed expanding the program there in the near future.

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November 12, 2006: This Month's Top Stories Michael O'Hanlon writes: The New Congress and Iraq 9 Nov Amanda Host named new PC Press Director 12 Nov Shays will reach across the aisle for answers in Iraq 8 Nov Petri loses chance to become committee chairman 8 Nov Doyle gets a mandate to improve education 8 Nov Eunice Shriver spends election night with Schwarzenegger 8 Nov Donna Shalala writes: Eliminating gender bias in universities 7 Nov Robert Paul upheld peace amid Afghan war 6 Nov Carol Bellamy receives humanitarian award 6 Nov Joseph Opala studies Black Seminoles 6 Nov David C. Liner named PC Chief of Staff 3 Nov PCV Matthew Costa remembered 2 Nov Ethiopian-American community rallied for Garamendi 2 Nov Christopher Poulos named Teacher of the Year 1 Nov Peace Corps Writers and the Lost Generation 1 Nov James Rupert writes: A deadly attack in Pakistan 31 Oct Hill meets secretly with North Korea to restart talks 31 Oct Jimmy Carter remembers mother in Peace Corps 30 Oct Leigh Emery travels world for science 27 Oct IFAW breaks ground for new headquarters 25 Oct RPCVs Podcast Around the Globe 23 Oct

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Election 2006: Results of RPCV Races Chris Shays claims victory in closely watched race Jim Walsh wins re-election to Congress in close race Tom Petri unopposed for re-election to Congress Sam Farr wins re-election to Congress Mike Honda wins re-election to Congress Jim Doyle wins re-election to Wisconsin Governorship Kinky Friedman loses in long shot bid for Texas Governor John Garamendi elected Lt. Governor of California

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Chris Dodd's Vision for the Peace Corps Senator Chris Dodd (RPCV Dominican Republic) spoke at the ceremony for this year's Shriver Award and elaborated on issues he raised at Ron Tschetter's hearings. Dodd plans to introduce legislation that may include: setting aside a portion of Peace Corps' budget as seed money for demonstration projects and third goal activities (after adjusting the annual budget upward to accommodate the added expense), more volunteer input into Peace Corps operations, removing medical, healthcare and tax impediments that discourage older volunteers, providing more transparency in the medical screening and appeals process, a more comprehensive health safety net for recently-returned volunteers, and authorizing volunteers to accept, under certain circumstances, private donations to support their development projects. He plans to circulate draft legislation for review to members of the Peace Corps community and welcomes RPCV comments.

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He served with honor One year ago, Staff Sgt. Robert J. Paul (RPCV Kenya) carried on an ongoing dialog on this website on the military and the peace corps and his role as a member of a Civil Affairs Team in Iraq and Afghanistan. We have just received a report that Sargeant Paul has been killed by a car bomb in Kabul. Words cannot express our feeling of loss for this tremendous injury to the entire RPCV community. Most of us didn't know him personally but we knew him from his words. Our thoughts go out to his family and friends. He was one of ours and he served with honor.

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Meet Ron Tschetter - Our Next Director Read our story about Ron Tschetter's confirmation hearing before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee that was carried on C-Span. It was very different from the Vasquez hearings in 2001, very cut and dried with low attendance by the public. Among the highlights, Tschetter intends to make recruitment of baby boomers a priority, there are 20 countries under consideration for future programs, Senator Dodd intends to re-introduce his third goal Peace Corps legislation this session, Tschetter is a great admirer of Senator Coleman's quest for accountability, Dodd thinks management at PC may not put volunteers first, Dodd wants Tschetter to look into problems in medical selection, and Tschetter is not a blogger and knows little about the internet or guidelines for volunteer blogs. Read our recap of the hearings as well as Senator Coleman's statement and Tschetter's statement.

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Peace Corps' Screening and Medical Clearance The purpose of Peace Corps' screening and medical clearance process is to ensure safe accommodation for applicants and minimize undue risk exposure for volunteers to allow PCVS to complete their service without compromising their entry health status. To further these goals, PCOL has obtained a copy of the Peace Corps Screening Guidelines Manual through the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) and has posted it in the "Peace Corps Library." Applicants and Medical Professionals (especially those who have already served as volunteers) are urged to review the guidelines and leave their comments and suggestions. Then read the story of one RPCV's journey through medical screening and his suggestions for changes to the process.

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The Peace Corps is "fashionable" again The LA Times says that "the Peace Corps is booming again and "It's hard to know exactly what's behind the resurgence." PCOL Comment: Since the founding of the Peace Corps 45 years ago, Americans have answered Kennedy's call: "Ask not what your country can do for you--ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man." Over 182,000 have served. Another 200,000 have applied and been unable to serve because of lack of Congressional funding. The Peace Corps has never gone out of fashion. It's Congress that hasn't been keeping pace.

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PCOL readership increases 100% Monthly readership on "Peace Corps Online" has increased in the past twelve months to 350,000 visitors - over eleven thousand every day - a 100% increase since this time last year. Thanks again, RPCVs and Friends of the Peace Corps, for making PCOL your source of information for the Peace Corps community. And thanks for supporting the Peace Corps Library and History of the Peace Corps. Stay tuned, the best is yet to come.

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History of the Peace Corps PCOL is proud to announce that Phase One of the "History of the Peace Corps" is now available online. This installment includes over 5,000 pages of primary source documents from the archives of the Peace Corps including every issue of "Peace Corps News," "Peace Corps Times," "Peace Corps Volunteer," "Action Update," and every annual report of the Peace Corps to Congress since 1961. "Ask Not" is an ongoing project. Read how you can help.

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