2009.02.22: February 22, 2009: Headlines: COS - Swaziland: Marriage: Blogs - Swaziland: Personal Web Site: Peace Corps Volunteer Justine's Swazi Adventures writes: Topless Group 2 PCV sets unrealistic expectations for Swazi men
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2009.02.07: February 7, 2009: Headlines: COS - Swaziland: Marriage: Swazi Times: RPCV Brenda Emelia Grabau marries Calvin Kunene in Swaziland :
2009.02.22: February 22, 2009: Headlines: COS - Swaziland: Marriage: Blogs - Swaziland: Personal Web Site: Peace Corps Volunteer Justine's Swazi Adventures writes: Topless Group 2 PCV sets unrealistic expectations for Swazi men
Peace Corps Volunteer Justine's Swazi Adventures writes: Topless Group 2 PCV sets unrealistic expectations for Swazi men
WHOA! Obviously, bi-racial marriage is rare in Swaziland. Even more rare is cross-cultural marriage. Bi-racial, cross-cultural TRADITIONAL marriage is absolutely unheard of. I guess it’s not a big deal except that (1) Brenda was a PCV in Group 2 who never informed Peace Corps that she was pregnant and just showed up to her Close of Service conference 7 months in, and (2) she’s pictured about 10” tall on the front page of the newspaper TOPLESS, exposing her enormous breasts and fantastic tan lines. Also, I don’t really understand how an American woman (particularly the liberal-minded type that usually joins the Peace Corps) could be okay with being described as “an official wife” of a Swazi man, as in one of the photo captions, rather than “the wife.” Does he plan on taking more wives? (The teka ceremony is usually only performed when the husband wishes to take more than one wife.) There are plenty of well-educated, progressive men in Swaziland who I could see a PCV marrying, but I can’t imagine that the Zionist family of a rural Swazi construction worker would be terribly progressive. Anyway, I guess I can’t judge because I don’t know actually know them, but I’m surprised. The cultural barrier, especially in traditional marriages, would be too much for me. But more power to them, I guess…and their daughter (Gretta) is adorable!
Peace Corps Volunteer Justine's Swazi Adventures writes: Topless Group 2 PCV sets unrealistic expectations for Swazi men
Topless Group 2 PCV sets unrealistic expectations for Swazi men
Yeah, that’s what the headline SHOULD have said. Below I’ve retyped an article printed in the Swazi Times (national, state-run newspaper). I’ve put all the important parts in bold so you can skip the rest if you want. All grammatical errors and odd phrasing are original, but Word has corrected the spelling (journalism is pretty sub-par here). You’ll have to Google it if you want the photos because it’s too pornographic for Blogger to let me post them. First, definition of terms:
--“Teka” (pronounced TAY-guh) is the first traditional ceremony of marriage. A woman who has gone through it has been “tekaed.” The ceremony involves being topless, not smiling, standing in a cattle kraal while older women tell you that marriage is hell and then performing rituals to prove that you’re capable of being subservient to your husband.
--An “Umlungu” is a white person. Originally it was derogatory (like the “n” word in the US) but now it’s used widely in place of my name. Example: “I love you, Umlungu.” Or “Hey Umlungu, give me sweets.”
--A “Zionist” is a member of a conservative sect of Christianity in Swaziland (not the same as in the US). There are different types of Zionists in Swaziland, but most speak in tongues, believe in faith healing, don’t eat pork and have really long church services where they wear uniforms, chant and sometimes bite/hit one another. (We’re not supposed to go to Zionist services.)
Umlungu from america tekaed by shy Zionist
By LUCKY TSABEDZE on February 07,2009
MANZINI – A Zionist construction worker tekaed an American woman.
The Zionist met Brenda Emelia Grabau at Bhawhini area, near Mankayane in 2006.
Calvin Kunene was at Bhawyini as a labourer for Anzo Constructions, a Matsapha based company.
"We were at Bhawyini as the construction company I worked for was building a house at Nyatsini Secondary school. I worked as a ‘bhucudaka’, my duty was to make concrete mixture," said the shy Kunene.
Kunene said he wanted to talk to Brenda when his eyes fell on her but he was scared to convey his feelings, something he described as part of the courting process. Apart from that, he says the skin colour sent shivers down his spine.
Kunene said he made acquaintance with Brenda, but the intention to ask Brenda out was not strong though he secretly harboured the thought.
"It happens that a male will want to talk to a girl about dating her but fear holds you back. It was the same thing with me," said Kunene.
"Then I took chances this one time when we met, it was more like a joke when I said it (I love you). She was friendly so that made it easy to talk to her. We begun to be friends and that is how we grew closer to each other," said Kunene.
Kunene said the friendship continued until a stage when Brenda’s commitment made him believe they were more than friends. Brenda pleasantly surprised him when she visited Kunene’s sick father at the Mankayane Government Hospital where he was admitted.
"That took me by surprise," he recalls.
"I could see that the friendship between us was strong, and was in fact getting even stronger. It got to point when my father died, that proved to be a turning point for me and Brenda. She travelled to my home, and was with me through- out the time of bereavement.
She was cooking, and that must have been a shock to some mourners because they didn’t part-take in the cooking. She was the busiest!" said the proud husband.
The relationship has brought to life a child.
WHOA! Obviously, bi-racial marriage is rare in Swaziland. Even more rare is cross-cultural marriage. Bi-racial, cross-cultural TRADITIONAL marriage is absolutely unheard of. I guess it’s not a big deal except that (1) Brenda was a PCV in Group 2 who never informed Peace Corps that she was pregnant and just showed up to her Close of Service conference 7 months in, and (2) she’s pictured about 10” tall on the front page of the newspaper TOPLESS, exposing her enormous breasts and fantastic tan lines. Also, I don’t really understand how an American woman (particularly the liberal-minded type that usually joins the Peace Corps) could be okay with being described as “an official wife” of a Swazi man, as in one of the photo captions, rather than “the wife.” Does he plan on taking more wives? (The teka ceremony is usually only performed when the husband wishes to take more than one wife.) There are plenty of well-educated, progressive men in Swaziland who I could see a PCV marrying, but I can’t imagine that the Zionist family of a rural Swazi construction worker would be terribly progressive. Anyway, I guess I can’t judge because I don’t know actually know them, but I’m surprised. The cultural barrier, especially in traditional marriages, would be too much for me. But more power to them, I guess…and their daughter (Gretta) is adorable!
For completely selfish reasons, though, the article irks me. Since it was printed last week I’ve been approached by a number of men in my community who now have renewed hope that I will marry or at least have sex with them. Thanks for that. We PCVs joked about writing a letter to the editor informing all Swazi men that she’s the exception rather than the rule. Even if you tell me you love me (as Mr. Kunene did to Brenda) and if my skin colour “sends shivers down your spine,” I’m not interested in marrying you. In fact, if you say that to me I’ll probably lecture you on the difference between lust and love.
Anyway, in between my daily sexual harassment encounters, these past two weeks have been extremely busy and productive.
Links to Related Topics (Tags):
Headlines: February, 2009; Peace Corps Swaziland; Directory of Swaziland RPCVs; Messages and Announcements for Swaziland RPCVs; Marriage; Blogs - Swaziland
When this story was posted in March 2009, this was on the front page of PCOL:
Peace Corps Online The Independent News Forum serving Returned Peace Corps Volunteers 
 | Director Ron Tschetter: The PCOL Interview
Peace Corps Director Ron Tschetter sat down for an in-depth interview to discuss the evacuation from Bolivia, political appointees at Peace Corps headquarters, the five year rule, the Peace Corps Foundation, the internet and the Peace Corps, how the transition is going, and what the prospects are for doubling the size of the Peace Corps by 2011. Read the interview and you are sure to learn something new about the Peace Corps. PCOL previously did an interview with Director Gaddi Vasquez. |
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