I could move and walk and talk. But I couldn't feel. I couldn't connect to anyone. I had detached from the person I was when I began my Peace Corps journey. A journey I had hoped would be such a turnkey event in my life. A chance to live internationally, to do on-the-ground NGO work. Like Thoreau, I wanted to live deliberately and suck the marrow out of life. Maybe that was too idealistic, but I put so much of my life into being a Peace Corps Volunteer. Only to be let down by the system. This past March, the people I entered Peace Corps with, referred to as "SA19" -- the 19th group of Volunteers to enter Peace Corps South Africa -- held their Close of Service ceremony. They closed a chapter in their Peace Corps lives two short years after being inaugurated as Volunteers. They went on to jobs, travel, graduate school, and other ventures. But many survivors are unable to continue their service due to their assault, and we are thus robbed of this Close of Service experience. While this final ceremony was happening in South Africa, I was in the United States continuing my Peace Corps service in a different way. While the other SA19s can leave Peace Corps behind, my work with First Response Action keeps me entrenched in the Peace Corps community. Our board members are all former Volunteers, a mix of advocates and survivors, who all want the same thing: for Peace Corps Volunteer victims of crime to be better supported through legislation that cements their rights to services, legal advice, treatment, and confidentiality.
South Africa RPCV Casey Frazee writes: I felt devoid of emotion and feeling, sucked out of me when I was sexually assaulted while serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer in South Africa
Peace Corps Volunteer Speaks Out About Lacking Sexual Assault Response
by Casey Frazee · May 09, 2011
Topics:
Sexual Assault
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I breathed in the fresh ocean air rolling up from the expanse of the Atlantic Ocean while standing on top of Table Mountain in Cape Town, South Africa. I was thousands of feet off the ground, gazing at one of the most marvelous sites in the world. Yet I felt devoid of emotion and feeling, sucked out of me when I was sexually assaulted while serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer in South Africa.
I remember thinking to myself that I was at a candidate for one of the wonders of the world and I didn't feel anything. I couldn't even crack a smile. What once came naturally to me now took so much force to muster that it wasn't worth it most times.
Being sexually assaulted changed who I was forever. That one act of betrayal. That one act of such an intimate violation. I now view the world through the lens of a survivor.
My attacker was part of my host family and he had harassed me for months. After being assaulted in June 2009, I discovered in the most difficult and personal way possible that Peace Corps had no global policy on how to manage incidents of sexual assault and rape. While most Peace Corps victims of assault or rape are kept in the country's capital while next steps are taken, my Country Director thought it would be more "productive" to send me out to visit Volunteers and help at their sites. Being a generally helpful and agreeable person, and having never been assaulted before, I thought this seemed reasonable. However, it led me down a path of increased PTSD symptoms, isolation, and breakdowns. I was left on my own to devolve in various locations throughout South Africa.
I could move and walk and talk. But I couldn't feel. I couldn't connect to anyone. I had detached from the person I was when I began my Peace Corps journey. A journey I had hoped would be such a turnkey event in my life. A chance to live internationally, to do on-the-ground NGO work. Like Thoreau, I wanted to live deliberately and suck the marrow out of life. Maybe that was too idealistic, but I put so much of my life into being a Peace Corps Volunteer. Only to be let down by the system.
I knew I wasn't alone. I heard from fellow Volunteers in South Africa about other women who had been sexually assaulted or raped. I decided to seize the day and dedicate the next stage in my life to rectifying what I saw as a staggering lack of preparedness to handle sexual assault and rape. I started First Response Action to advocate to Peace Corps for improved policies and protocol to respond more effectively to incidents of sexual violence.
Since then, I have heard from dozens of women and a few men who have experienced sexual or physical violence while serving as Peace Corps Volunteers. Victim-blaming, misinformation, lack of Peace Corps staff knowledge, and hollow sexual assault training are key themes throughout the experiences of these dozens of Volunteers who have served over the last several decades and in countries around the world.
So here I sit, on the eve of the House Foreign Affairs Committee hearing on sexual violence in the Peace Corps, reflecting on the last year and a half since I founded First Response Action.
This past March, the people I entered Peace Corps with, referred to as "SA19" -- the 19th group of Volunteers to enter Peace Corps South Africa -- held their Close of Service ceremony. They closed a chapter in their Peace Corps lives two short years after being inaugurated as Volunteers. They went on to jobs, travel, graduate school, and other ventures. But many survivors are unable to continue their service due to their assault, and we are thus robbed of this Close of Service experience.
While this final ceremony was happening in South Africa, I was in the United States continuing my Peace Corps service in a different way. While the other SA19s can leave Peace Corps behind, my work with First Response Action keeps me entrenched in the Peace Corps community. Our board members are all former Volunteers, a mix of advocates and survivors, who all want the same thing: for Peace Corps Volunteer victims of crime to be better supported through legislation that cements their rights to services, legal advice, treatment, and confidentiality.
I am fighting for future survivors, so they can receive an appropriate, compassionate, and informed response from Peace Corps. Peace Corps owes that to their Volunteers.
To support Casey and other Volunteers fighting for improved sexual violence response, sign the First Response Action petition to the Peace Corps here.
