The New England Patriots donated over 200 pieces of “19-0” memorabilia including t-shirts, hats, and jerseys to Nicaraguan children a few months ago, a seemingly questionable and random way to rid themselves of a terrible case of overconfidence. The Indianapolis Colts have responded to the Patriots' bold statement by donating something to Nicaragua that they can live without: backup quarterback Jim Sorgi. Sorgi was sent by plane to Nicaragua and is expected to be part of a food drop by a U.S. Peace Corps plane. “Yeah, the Pats sent us some worthless memorabilia, and then the Colts sent us a worthless football player,” said U.S. Peace Corps representative Steven F. Harrison. “I mean, have you seen him play? I think I’d rather have one of our malnourished soccer players back Peyton Manning up than that worthless sack of crap.”
“Yeah, the Pats sent us some worthless memorabilia, and then the Colts sent us a worthless football player,” said U.S. Peace Corps representative Steven F. Harrison.
In Respose to Patriots, Colts Donate Jim Sorgi to Nicaraguan Children
by Mike Holleran (Contributor)
March 25, 2008
This article has not been edited yet.
Humor, NFL, AFC East, AFC South, New England Patriots, Indianapolis Colts
The New England Patriots donated over 200 pieces of “19-0” memorabilia including t-shirts, hats, and jerseys to Nicaraguan children a few months ago, a seemingly questionable and random way to rid themselves of a terrible case of overconfidence.
The Indianapolis Colts have responded to the Patriots' bold statement by donating something to Nicaragua that they can live without: backup quarterback Jim Sorgi.
Sorgi was sent by plane to Nicaragua and is expected to be part of a food drop by a U.S. Peace Corps plane.
“Yeah, the Pats sent us some worthless memorabilia, and then the Colts sent us a worthless football player,” said U.S. Peace Corps representative Steven F. Harrison. “I mean, have you seen him play? I think I’d rather have one of our malnourished soccer players back Peyton Manning up than that worthless sack of crap.”
The Patriots donated the memorabilia after losing to the New York Giants in Super Bowl XLII—after a week of the country’s top media outlets calling the 18-0 team the best sports franchise ever.
Now, head coach Bill Belichick is thinking about getting out the old camcorder and taping some teams like the old days, when his Pats won three Super Bowls in seven years.
He took time from spitting on senior citizens and hitting stray cats with his Volvo to answer questions.
“So, yeah, we blew it against the Giants,” he said. “But you see...I have a plan. We sent all of that worthless garbage to Nicaragua to make a statement and soften the public’s views of us, as the majority of NFL fans want me to jump off of a building. But hear me out. But Nicaraguan kids are like Kenyans, they run like there’s no tomorrow. So when these 17- and 18-year-old Kenyans, who have been taught the game, become good at football, they will of course try out for us due to the gear and we will have running backs and wide receivers for the next 25-30 years. Who’s the man? Who’s the man?”
Sorgi, meanwhile, responded to many members of the Indianapolis Star outside of his offseason home.
“Nicaragua seems nice. I mean, it’s no United States, but at least nobody knows who I am. I hear the weather is nice, but then again the only part of the country I’ve seen is in those ‘Pay 15 cents’ poor kid ads. I hope the kids will look up to me.”
