"The decision was not reached easily. Over the past few months, Peace Corps Kazakhstan has experienced many hardships. A special assessment team was sent to evaluate the situation a couple of weeks ago. They began interviewing volunteers and speaking with staff to assess the effectiveness of our programs and the security of volunteers. The program was ultimately suspended due to what the Peace Corps is officially calling "operational considerations." Volunteers, people in my community, and PC staff expressed sorrow at the news and acknowledged the positive influence Peace Corps has had on Kazakhstan and the life-changing impact Kazakhstan has had on volunteers."
Peace Corps Volunteer "Jennie - Kazakhstan" writes: I cried for about three days when the Country Director called to tell me we were all leaving
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Leaving Kazakhstan
On November 17th many hearts were broken. The leadership of the United States Peace Corps, after much deliberation, decided to indefinitely suspend all Peace Corps programs in the Republic of Kazakhstan, leaving many locals worrying over lost jobs, students mourning lost mentors and friends, and volunteers crying over lost time.
The decision was not reached easily. Over the past few months, Peace Corps Kazakhstan has experienced many hardships. A special assessment team was sent to evaluate the situation a couple of weeks ago. They began interviewing volunteers and speaking with staff to assess the effectiveness of our programs and the security of volunteers. The program was ultimately suspended due to what the Peace Corps is officially calling "operational considerations." Volunteers, people in my community, and PC staff expressed sorrow at the news and acknowledged the positive influence Peace Corps has had on Kazakhstan and the life-changing impact Kazakhstan has had on volunteers.
I cried for about three days when the Country Director called to tell me we were all leaving. They should have put me next to the Aral Sea to help expand its shrinking coastline. I cried alongside my counterpart teacher, Gulshat, many of my students, local friends, and volunteers. With them I lamented the time we thought we had left to carry out projects, improve English, celebrate holidays, and continue to learn about each other.
I was crying for all of these things, but my heart was aching for the loss of my students. I saw their eager faces and thought of how much they crave knowledge, they crave the world. In my opinion, Peace Corps volunteers in Kazakhstan were about so much more than teaching English. My passion for these kids had very little to do with teaching English. I love them. I love them for the way they greeted me every day with chipper handshakes, for the way they called me Miss Jennie, for the way they appreciate every ounce of love I showed them. Could Peace Corps have changed the educational system in Kazakhstan? No. In fact, that was never the goal. I wanted to show these kids that they had to be the future. They had to be brave enough to imagine the world they wanted to live in and go for it. The unit we were covering right before we left was about ambition. The kids know that Miss Jennie believes they should dream big and believe in themselves. And they know Miss Jennie believes in them. Another volunteer said that her biggest accomplishment was that her children know they are fiercely loved. What more are we here for?
Yet the ferocity of this love makes leaving all the more painful. So painful in fact, that I have found myself wandering around aimlessly for the past week or so, not sure how to recover from the sadness of leaving my community, my life, my passion. Being here is difficult, reading the letters my students wrote to me and looking at our last photos makes me cry, and not knowing what to do in the immediate future is terrifying. But, I read through my previous blogs and found wisdom in my own words: Term tests be damned, tonight is about breathing in the nature that continues to surprise me. Tonight is about recording experiences that will be turned into memories, doing my best to describe what I am feeling and thinking now so that I will look back with decidedly happy nostalgia. I know that someday I will miss these moments, but this is also a reminder that if you are loving life, there will always be nostalgia. The pang of sadness is a small price to pay for living in the moments that are worthy of nostalgia. I have changed a lot and learned more than I taught. If you read any news about Kazakhstan, keep an open mind and remember that nothing in life is black and white. Just like every country, it has its share of problems, but there are truly amazing people and traditions that I will miss dearly and look forward to seeing again soon. I would love to discuss all of this in more depth if any of you are interested.
Thank you for all of your support and wish me luck on the next adventure. Jennie
